


Strangers

by sgtcalhouns



Category: Wreck-It Ralph (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Head Injury, Married Couple, Memory Loss, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2020-11-22 05:23:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20868890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgtcalhouns/pseuds/sgtcalhouns
Summary: Two years into her marriage to Felix, Tamora is involved in an accident that has the potential to change the course of their relationship forever. (Explicit rating only applies to chapter 11, the rest of the fic is teen and up)





	1. Chapter 1

Felix rushed through the sliding doors and into the hospital, the cold air of the waiting room doing nothing to relieve the sweat that dripped from his brow. He had sped over from work as soon as he had received news of the accident from Ralph. His eyes scanned the brightly-lit room until he spotted his friend standing outside a door in the hallway.

“Where is she?” 

“She’s in here,” Ralph said, gesturing toward the door. “But before you go in there, I should warn you–”

“Whatever’s happened, we’ll get through it,” Felix interrupted, his voice surprisingly calm. “We’ll be alright. We always are.”

Before Ralph could explain any further, Felix opened the door and walked inside. He hurried over to the side of the bed in which she lay, taking a seat in the chair that was positioned there. She appeared to be unconscious, and Felix gently placed his hand over hers on the mattress.

“How is she?”

“She’s been fading in and out,” replied one of the nurses. “Her wrist is fractured, but it should heal quickly.”

“Good,” he replied, exhaling a small sigh of relief. He looked to her other hand and saw a brace around her wrist. “Are there any other injuries?”

“Well, she did suffer some pretty serious head trauma,” the nurse answered.

“What does that mean?” he asked. “Will she be alright?”

“We’re running some tests, but generally things look pretty good,” she said. “Her injuries aren’t fatal, and it looks as though the trauma only impacted one area of her cognitive function.”

“Which one?” he asked.

Just then, Felix felt Tamora’s hand shift within his grasp and turned his attention back toward her. She blinked a few times before glancing around the room, confusion evident on her face.

“Tammy,” Felix said, placing his hand alongside her face. “I came as soon as I heard. How are you feeling?”

“Fine…” she answered absently. She seemed surprised by Felix’s presence, and taken aback by his affection.

“I know this must be overwhelming for you,” he said. “We’ll get you home soon and I’ll get you cozy in bed and whip up something good to eat.”

“It’ll be a couple of hours before we’re ready to release her,” the nurse said.

“That’s alright,” he replied. “I’ll wait here if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure thing,” the nurse answered.

“Wait, wait,” Tamora cut in. She looked back and forth between Felix and the nurse, her brow furrowed in puzzlement. “I’m sorry, but… Who are you?”

The nurse averted her eyes, a look of knowing sadness on her face.

“Tammy, it’s me,” he said, clasping her hand between both of his. “It’s Felix.”

Felix looked into her eyes, searching desperately for any sign of recognition. She looked back at him as though he were a perfect stranger. He tried to hold back the flood of emotion that rushed his senses, but he was sure that she could see the intense sadness he felt.

“I’m your husband.”

* * *

Ralph was startled when the door opened again, but he wasn’t surprised to see Felix looking miserable as he stepped through it. 

“She doesn’t know who I am,” Felix said, his voice quiet.

“I’m sorry, Felix,” Ralph replied. “What did the doctor say about it?”

“The last thing she remembers is moving here. That means she doesn’t remember anything about our relationship–she doesn’t even remember meeting me in the first place. I’m a complete stranger to her,” Felix said. “They said sometimes the memories come back within a couple of hours, but it could take months, maybe even years.”

“That’s rough,” Ralph said. “Did they give you any advice for what to do moving forward?”

“I can try showing her pictures and talking about everything she’s forgotten to try and jog her memory, but I have to take it slow or else it’ll just overwhelm her,” Felix answered. “I’m going to take her home tonight and hope she remembers everything sooner rather than later.”

“I gotta say, you’re handling this a lot better than I expected,” Ralph said. “How are you feeling about all this?”

“It’s not easy, Ralph. I love her with everything I have, but she doesn’t love me. She can’t, because she doesn’t even know who I am,” he said, his eyes brimming with tears. “But I’m not going to lose her this easily. I’m going to take care of her like I always have. I just hope it’ll be enough.”

“It will be,” Ralph replied. “If anyone can make this work, it’s you two.”

“Thanks, brother,” Felix said with a sad smile. 

He put his hand in his pocket, wrapping his fingers around the two golden bands that had sunk down to the bottom–Tamora’s engagement ring and her wedding band. The nurse had handed them to him, explaining that they had been removed from her left hand due to her injury. Whether holding them now brought him comfort or sorrow, he couldn’t be sure. He hoped that one day soon she would be ready to wear them again, in more ways than one.

“I hope you’re right.”


	2. Chapter 2

_Felix squinted against the early morning light that slipped through the cracks in the blinds. He snuggled up closer to Tamora, burrowing his face into her chest to block out the offending brightness. _

_“Not a fan of the sun today, hm?” Tamora’s sleepy voice mumbled as her arms tightened around his shoulders._

_He shook his head._

_“I just want to stay right here,” he replied. _

_“You don’t want to get up and go seize the day?” she teased._

_“Not today,” he said. “Nothing I could do today would be better than what I’m doing right now.”_

_“Then let’s do it,” she suggested. “Let’s just stay here in bed. I didn’t feel like dealing with people today, anyway.”_

_“That sounds perfect,” he smiled, worming his way even closer to her._

_They fell into a comfortable silence, content to stay wrapped up in each other and appreciate the cozy comfort of their bed. Tamora’s fingers sifted gently through his hair, soothing him into a state of such relaxation that she was convinced he had fallen back asleep._

_“I love you,” he murmured before drifting off. She smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head._

_“I love you, too.”_

“Felix?”

Ralph’s voice shook Felix from the memory, forcing him back into the present. Reality assaulted his senses, reminding him that he was not in bed with his loving wife, but in his living room with Ralph, attempting to mend the pieces of his broken life.

“You doin’ alright there, buddy?”

Felix nodded. His larger companion could see the distant look in his eyes, though, and would not be fooled so easily.

“You don’t have to put up a front with me. I know this has gotta be hard,” Ralph said. “How are you really holding up?”

“Not so good, brother,” Felix admitted, his eyes damp. “It’s been two weeks, and still, nothing. Two weeks since I kissed her, or held her hand, or told her I love her. I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you talked to her about how it’s making you feel?” Ralph asked.

“No. She’s got enough on her plate finding out all her memories of the last four years are gone, livin’ with someone she doesn’t recognize,” Felix explained. “It wouldn’t be fair for me to make her feel guilty about any of that. It’s not her fault.”

“You know you’re gonna have to talk to her about it eventually,” Ralph said.

“I know. I’ve been trying to talk to her about our life together, but it’s so hard,” Felix sniffled. “Every time I try, it just reminds me that that’s not the way things are anymore. After the first couple days, I thought maybe we could recreate our first date to try and jog her memory.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t’ve been, but nothing went the way I planned. The restaurant closed down last month. We found the sweater she wore that night in the back of her closet, but it had been eaten up by moths, and the daisies I brought her are out of season.” 

Finally, his tears got the best of him, and he broke down crying, burying his face in his hand. When he managed to speak again, his voice was strained by the weight of his grief. 

“It was all wrong.”

“I’m sorry, buddy,” Ralph said, attempting to console his friend with a pat on the back. 

“On top of everything else, I feel so ungrateful. She could’ve died in that accident, but she didn’t. She’s still here, and I should be grateful for that,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “But it still feels like I lost her.”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling that way,” Ralph said. “You didn’t lose her, but you lost the life you had before. It’s okay to be sad about that. But that doesn’t mean everything’s over for you.”

“How? How could it not be over for me?” He began to lose control of his emotions, breathing heavily as he tried to calm himself down. “I built my whole life around her and now she doesn’t even know who I am. She’s holding my heart in her hands and she doesn’t remember why.”

His body shook with convulsive sobs as he finally allowed the pain he had been holding inside to be set free.

“She looks at me like I’m some—some kind stranger she met on the street. Do you know how much that breaks my heart? And she doesn’t even realize it,” his voice was thick as he spoke through the lump in his throat. “I used to look at her and see it, _see_ how much she loved me, but it’s gone now, because she can’t love someone she doesn’t even know.”

“Felix—”

“And the _worst_ part—the worst part is I don’t know if her memories will ever come back. I don’t know if I can ever convince her to love me again, and I don’t know if she even wants me to try,” he cried. “But she is my wife and I made a promise to love her for the rest of my life, and I intend to keep it. I know I’ll never love anyone else the way I love her. So I have to keep trying, even if it tears me apart.”

“I’m not so sure this is healthy,” Ralph said.

“It’s not. But what choice do I have?” Felix said, finally gaining control over his breathing, although his tears could not be stopped. “What if I stop trying and let her go and then her memories come back? What if she finally remembers everything we’ve been through together after I gave up on her? Gave up on us?”

Ralph supposed he couldn’t argue with that. Still, he hated seeing his friend like this—Felix had always had such a positive outlook, Ralph was sure he had never seen him this upset before. It was clear that his situation was taking quite a toll on him, and there was no easy solution.

“Look, I know I must sound crazy,” Felix said. “But right now, the only thing keeping me going is the thought that one day she could love me again. She loved me once. I just have to remind her why.”

“I understand,” Ralph replied. “But please stop bottling everything up like this. Don’t feel like you have to take this on alone.”

Felix took a deep breath and sniffled as he wiped the tears from his eyes. 

“I’m sorry for dumpin’ all that on you,” he said. “I’ve been trying to stay strong, but it’s been hard keeping up appearances all the time. I don’t want to break down in front of her and make her feel like any of this is her fault.”

“Don’t apologize,” Ralph replied. “I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

“Thanks, brother,” he said, offering Ralph a weak smile. He glanced down at his watch. “Oh, I’d better go get cleaned up. Tamora’ll be home any minute and I don’t want her to see me like this.”

The pair said their goodbyes and Ralph left as Felix headed to the bathroom to freshen up. He splashed some cold water on his face, took a few deep breaths, and put on a brave face just in time for Tamora to return home. As he greeted her at the door, he tried his best to stamp down the ever-growing doubt that things would ever go back to the way they were before. Ever the optimist, he held onto the hope that, one day, she would love him again. He clung to that hope like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

And, deep down, it was.


	3. Chapter 3

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

Felix set his fork down and folded his hands on the dinner table. Tamora sat across from him, finishing off the last of the lasagna he had made for them. It had been weeks since the accident, and thus far they had managed to avoid having a serious conversation about it all. At this point, they could almost be better described as roommates than as a husband and wife–he had moved into the guest bedroom to give her space, and they never got into any conversation deeper than friendly small talk. As much as he feared the outcome of a talk like this, it was well past time.

“It’s about… Well, about our situation,” he said. “I haven’t asked you how you’d like to handle all this.”

“Handle what?” she asked.

“I think we ought to talk about…us,” he explained, treading lightly as he searched for the right way to broach the subject. “Legally, we’re married, but you don’t remember any of that. I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me if that’s not what you want.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know this probably feels strange to you. There’s some stranger telling you he’s your husband and you have this whole other life that you have no memories of,” he said. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to try and fit into that mold. I just want you to know that there’s no pressure from me.”

“So what are you saying exactly?”

“I’m saying…if you decide that this isn’t what you want, then I…” he trailed off, taking a deep breath before forcing the words out, “I won’t stop you from leaving.”

“And what about you?” she asked. “What do you want?”

What did _he_ want? The question almost made him laugh, for he knew he could never have what he truly desired. What he wanted was to go back in time, to protect her from that accident, for things to go back to the way they were before. To erase this terrible event from their history so they could live out the life they had planned together. It did him no good to think about what he wanted; it would only cause him more pain.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he answered.

“Yes, it does,” she said. “I want you to be honest with me. What do you want out of this? Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” he answered quickly and firmly. “I know I haven’t been too open with you about my feelings. I wasn’t sure how comfortable you would be if I told you that I… I love you more than you will ever know. I married you knowing that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. I’m not sure how I would ever recover if I lost you.”

“Then what about what you just said, that you would let me go?”

“Being with you has made me the happiest I’ve ever been. But love is about more than my happiness. It’s also about yours,” he said. “So, yes, I want us to spend the rest of our lives together, whether you end up remembering the life we’ve had or not. But only if you want that, too.”

He tentatively reached across the table and placed his hand over hers. She allowed it, but he could tell that it had taken her by surprise.

“At the end of the day, my job as your husband is to do everything I can to make you happy,” he said. “If you decided you couldn’t be happy with me anymore…as hard as that would be for me, I would accept it.”

Tamora took a moment to consider his words. She could tell that he wasn’t lying to her–that, at the end of the day, all he really wanted was to make her happy. It was almost unbelievable to her. How could someone be so compassionate, so accommodating to her feelings when this situation had to be just as hard on him as it was on her?

“Let’s say that I wanted to stay,” she said. “What would you do moving forward?”

“Well, I think we’d have to take it day by day. I’d get out some pictures and tell you about all the things we’ve done together so you can see how much we’ve loved each other over the years,” he explained, a distant smile crossing his face. “And then we could just start fresh. Get to know each other again, go on dates.”

“You would start all over again for me?”

“Of course. I’d do it a hundred times over for you,” he answered without hesitation. “Besides, I already convinced you to fall in love with me once. In theory, I guess that means I should be able to do it again.”

“Okay,” she said. “Let’s do it.”

“Really? You mean you–you want to?” 

“I may not remember it, but I made a commitment to you. That means something to me,” she nodded. “Clearly, you’re a good man with a big heart and you seem to care about me a lot. I could definitely do worse.”

“Oh, that makes me so happy to hear,” he said, grinning from ear to ear. It was the most genuine smile that had appeared on his lips in weeks. “Let’s get started as soon as possible. How’s tomorrow night?”

As Felix gushed, Tamora couldn’t help but smile. His joy was infectious, and although she couldn’t remember anything about him, there was something in him that her mind recognized. He was a non-threatening presence, at times even a comforting one, and it made her feel good to see him so happy.

“It’s a date.”


	4. Chapter 4

“What was it like in the beginning?”

Felix took a moment to reflect before providing Tamora with an answer. He wasn’t sure there was any way he could sum up the start of their relationship in just a few words. How could he provide a succinct summary of the chain of events that had brought them together and led to the greatest happiness he had ever known?

“It was wonderful,” he said with a soft smile. “I was so crazy about you, I could hardly believe it when you said yes to that first date.”

The pair were seated across the table from one another at a diner down the street from their apartment. It was their first date since the accident, and he had decided to bring her to this restaurant in particular because it was one they had frequented when they first started dating. 

“How long had we known each other when you asked me out?”

“A few months.”

“Sounds like you weren’t in much of a hurry,” she teased.

“Oh, believe me, I tried to buck up the courage to ask you more times than I can count,” he recalled with a chuckle. “I just got so nervous around you, I could never bring myself to go through with it.”

“You were nervous around me?” she asked. “You seem like a pretty confident guy.”

“I certainly can be, under the right conditions. But with you, I just…” he trailed off, his eyes far away. “I knew that if we got together, it was going to be more than a few casual dates. That we would have something special. I didn’t want to mess that up.”

“You knew all that before you ever asked me out?” she asked. He nodded.

“Even now, I don’t quite know how to describe the way I felt when I was with you. I’ve always been a bit of a hopeless romantic, but I’d never really bought into the idea of soulmates,” he said. “But when I met you, I felt like it had happened for a reason. That we were meant to be together. I couldn’t imagine my life going any other way.”

“Just like that?” she asked. “No hesitation at all?”

“No,” he answered. “I fell for you hard and fast. It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Are you sure you’ve got the right woman?” she joked. “I can’t imagine I was easy to be with.”

“Maybe not always, but all relationships require some hard work,” he said. “But choosing you, loving you—that was easy.”

“I can’t imagine that I had such an easy time with that,” she said.

“No, you’re much more reserved with your feelings than I am. I knew it would take some time for you to be comfortable telling me how you felt,” he said. “I was perfectly content to love you until you were ready to love me back.”

“How long after you told me you loved me did I say it back to you?” she asked.

“It was a few weeks before you were ready to say it back,” he said.

“And you were willing to wait that long?” she asked in disbelief.

“Of course. I didn’t tell you that I loved you just so you would say it back to me. I told you I loved you because it was true and I wanted you to know how I felt,” he explained. “Just because you didn’t feel the same way yet didn’t mean my love didn’t exist anymore. It was still there, and I was happy to share it with you.”

“You weren’t even a little upset that I didn’t say it back?” she asked.

“I never wanted you to feel pressured into telling me you loved me if that wasn’t how you felt. I wanted you to really mean it,” he said. “It would have been unfair of me to get upset with you for not feeling the same way. That’s selfish, and it’s not love. Not real love, anyway.”

She paused, contemplating his words. He looked at her knowingly, remembering how difficult it had been for her to accept his love the first time around. No one in her life had ever been quite as open with their affection as he had, and it had taken her some getting used to. He reached across the table and placed his hand over hers.

“I still remember the night you told me you loved me for the first time. It was more than three years ago now, but I remember it like it was yesterday,” he said. “I was so happy, I had to stop myself from tearing up, because I knew without a doubt that it was really how you felt. You said it on your own time, on your own terms, without being prompted, and it meant the world to me.”

“When did I say it?” she asked. “What were we doing?”

“It was the middle of the night. You had woken up from a nightmare, and I was tryin’ to help you through it. Your breathing had finally calmed, and I just wrapped you up in my arms and held you close,” he said. “On nights like those I wished I could protect you from the world.”

_Tamora buried her face in his chest as her tears began to dry. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and gently stroked her hair. _

_“I love you,” she mumbled into his shirt.  
_

_Felix froze, certain that he had misheard her. _

_“What was that, Tammy?” he asked softly.  
_

_“I love you,” she repeated, louder this time.  
_

_His heart seemed to expand inside his chest as she spoke; he was positive that she could hear how hard it was beating. He tightened his arms around her and buried his smiling face in her hair, knowing it would be impossible for him to get back to sleep now that she had confessed her feelings to him. The rush of adrenaline and happiness was unlike anything he had ever felt before, and he didn’t see it ending anytime soon._

_“I love you, too.”_

“I stayed awake the rest of the night, just lookin’ down at you in my arms and wondering how I got to be so lucky,” he said softly as his mind replayed the memory. 

“You considered yourself lucky to be dealing with all my problems?” she asked.

“I felt lucky that you trusted me enough to let me see that side of you. I knew how hard it was for you to open up, but you did for me,” he replied. “Maybe you didn’t mean it that way, but it always made me feel like I was special to you.”

“You’re probably the only person alive who knows about my nightmares,” she said. She flipped her hand over, returning his embrace for the first time. “I think that makes you pretty special.”

It was getting dark outside by the time they left the diner to walk home. Felix had yet to release her hand, and Tamora found that she didn’t mind. It certainly seemed to make him happy—she could tell he was trying not to make it too obvious, but the rosy glow emanating from his cheeks was a dead giveaway. As he cast a sheepish glance in her direction only to look elsewhere when they locked eyes, she found herself surprisingly taken with him. His shyness was _cute_, something that normally would have bothered her, but now seemed to add to his charm.

“Tell me something,” she asked as they approached their apartment. “Did you kiss me when you dropped me off after our first date?”

“No. I wanted to more than anything, but I chickened out at the last second and kissed you on the cheek instead,” he said, his blush intensifying. “But you wouldn’t have any of that. You grabbed me by the front of my shirt and yanked me into a kiss.”

“Huh. I guess my troops weren’t kidding when they told me I was bossy,” she smirked as Felix opened the door and led them inside.

“You know how to take control, that’s for sure. But I always liked that about you,” he said. “You saw right through me, and you could’ve let me suffer until I found the nerve to let my feelings show, but you didn’t. Maybe you did it out of pity. I like to think you found it endearing.”

“Well, if you looked anything like you do right now, then you were pretty adorable,” she said with a chuckle. His face lit up scarlet as she looked at him with an expression that could almost be described as coy. “Maybe I wanted to kiss you just as bad as you wanted to kiss me, hm? Maybe I didn’t feel like waiting.”

Everything about this conversation felt familiar to Felix. They held one another’s gaze and there it was: that same magnetic pull that had always drawn him in to her. He was so close he could smell the rosemary fragrance that her soap had left behind on her skin. It had been quite some time since he had been in such close proximity to her, and the familiar scent washed over him like a balm, soothing all the stress and heartache he had felt over the last few weeks. 

He leaned in closer, ready to give them what they both wanted, what his heart so desperately needed. She adjusted her hand within his grip, and the unadorned surface of her ring finger broke him out of his trance and reminded him where they were—who he was to her now. He was not the man who had stood beside her at the altar and pledged to spend his life with her. Maybe he could be again one day, but tonight he was barely more than a stranger dropping her off at home after a first date. It caught Tamora off guard when he pulled back, clearing his throat in an awkward attempt to alleviate the tension that now existed between them.

“Well, I uh, I’ve got a pretty early start tomorrow, so I probably ought’a start winding down for the evening,” he said.

“Oh,” she replied, surprised by the sudden change in atmosphere. “Okay. Well, have a good night.”

“You do the same.”

It occurred to them both in the same instant that they were still holding hands, and the realization caused them to flinch. Before he could bring himself to release her, he brought her hand to his lips and pressed a solemn kiss to her knuckles. It wasn’t the kiss that either of them had been hoping for tonight, but it still ignited something deep within her chest. They separated, each of them making the silent trek to opposite sides of the apartment where their separate bedrooms resided. Felix had never felt that distance more distinctly than he did right now.

“‘Night, Felix,” she said.

He watched as she opened her bedroom door and stepped inside, wishing he had the courage to stride back into that room and kiss her like she was the woman he wanted to spend eternity with. But it appeared there would be no pity tonight; she couldn’t see through him if she wasn’t looking in the first place. He sighed, resigning himself to another night alone.

“Goodnight, Tamora.”


	5. Chapter 5

The room was bright with the warm light of early afternoon. Tamora stole a quick glance to her right and found Felix beaming back at her; the love in his eyes was clear even through the veil that clouded her vision. A pastor stood before them reciting lines from scripture, but she couldn’t make out a word of what he was saying. In that moment, the only person who existed to her was Felix.

Suddenly, it was dark. Thunder boomed across the sky as Felix ushered her into an unfamiliar barn in the middle of a field. Once inside, they each got a laugh out of how soaking wet they had become in the unexpected downpour. Felix set his picnic basket down and reached for her hand.

“I’m sorry, Tammy. The forecast said there was only a twenty percent chance of rain so I thought we’d be fine,” he said. A flash of lightning followed by a clap of thunder caused him to flinch. “Guess I was wrong.”

“Well, as long as we’re stuck here, we might as well finish our picnic,” she suggested.

“The sandwiches are mush, but I buried the pie at the bottom of the basket, so I think it’s safe,” he replied. “And we still haven’t opened the wine.”

“Pie and wine,” Tamora smirked, “all the ingredients of a perfect picnic.”

“It’ll always be perfect as long as you’re with me,” he smiled.

The scenery changed yet again, and she found herself warm under the covers in the middle of the night. She was still unclothed from an earlier bout of passion, and as she rolled onto her side, she came face-fo-face with Felix. It was clear that he had already been looking at her, but his gaze softened when their eyes met. She always found herself taken aback by the way he looked at her–it was intense, but not judging, and overflowing with adoration.

“Why do you always look at me like that?” she asked. Her voice was quiet and carried no judgment; it was an honest inquiry.

Felix scooted closer and pressed a kiss to her lips.

“Like what?” he murmured against her mouth.

“I don’t know, it’s…” she trailed off as she searched for the right words. “It’s almost like you’re in love with me.”

“Oh,” he said. He gently brushed his fingers along her cheek, moving her bangs out of her face. “That’s because I’m in love with you.”

It was a confession he had been putting off for some time now, but here in the dark it was easy to admit these things. He felt her tense up under his touch.

“You don’t have to say it back. I just wanted you to know,” he said. “I won’t say it again if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t,” she replied. “I… I liked hearing it.”

“Good,” he said, exhaling a shaky breath as his anxiety began to dissipate. His smile was so wide it threatened to split his cheeks. “I really liked saying it.”

She leaned in to kiss him again, but she was met with a sudden feeling of emptiness. His hand was gone from her cheek, and the bed felt cold without his presence. 

“Felix?”

Silence.

An overwhelming sense of dread took hold of her. She sat up to look for him, but the room darkened until she couldn’t see her own hand as she held it up in front of her face.

“Felix.”

She could sense that he was nearby, could hear his voice calling her name in the distance, but as hard as she tried, she couldn’t get to him. Pulling the covers back, she stumbled out of bed, running her hand along the wall in search of the door. His voice grew louder and she knew with distinct clarity that they would be together once she found her way out of this room. She ran in frantic circles along the perimeter of the room, feeling nothing but the smooth surface of the wall the whole way around. He was there, _right there_, but as hard as she tried, she couldn’t get to him. 

“Felix!”

“Tamora, please, wake up!”

Tamora jolted awake and was startled to find Felix sitting on the edge of the bed with his hand on her cheek. She was panting for breath as she pieced together her surroundings and realized it had all been a dream.

“It’s alright,” Felix said as he smoothed her hair. “It was just a nightmare.”

She shook her head. He had no way of knowing how alarmingly real it had all felt. No nightmare had ever shaken her to her very core this way.

“No,” she rasped. “You don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t remember, but I understand better than most,” Felix said. “Why don’t I make you some tea to help you calm down?”

“I don’t need to calm down,” she snapped.

Felix withdrew his hand and seemed to shrink in front of her. She regretted her actions as soon as she saw the hurt in his eyes, but she was too overwhelmed with her own emotions to apologize to him. There was no way she could allow him to comfort her right now; she was grappling with the feelings her dream had awakened within her, the love she had felt from him–_for_ him. She couldn’t tell what was real and what was not, and she needed to sort it out on her own. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and she had never heard his voice sound so small. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Look, I just need some time to myself right now,” she said with a heavy sigh.

“Please, let me stay,” he said softly. “Let me help. I know how.”

“I can’t do this right now, Felix,” she said. “I need you to go.”

“I can’t walk out of this room knowing you’re in here hurting all by yourself,” he said, and she could see in his eyes that he felt her pain as deeply as though it were his own. “S’my job to be there for you during times like this. I only want to–”

“Well, you know what I want? To be alone,” she cut in, and she hated the cold, harsh tone of her voice, but she couldn’t keep her emotions in check as they spiraled out of control. “I asked you to get out.”

He froze, trying not to let his hurt feelings show, but she saw how his eyes glossed over with unshed tears. He gulped, swallowing the lump in his throat, and nodded. The corners of his mouth turned down as he stood from the bed; it was the closest thing to a frown she had ever seen on his face. She could see the tension in his shoulders as he walked toward the door. He turned back to face her and she was surprised to see that his cheeks were dry.

“Let me know if you need anything,” he said so quietly that she could barely hear him. “You know where I’ll be.”

The moment the door closed behind him, Tamora regretted sending him away. She would never understand why he had ever bothered to stick around with someone like her. Couldn’t he see that he was so much better than she was? So much more compassionate and understanding? There was no way she would ever be able to earn his love, and she couldn’t understand why he was so willing to give it to her. Even now, after she had so coldly rejected him, he was there, setting aside his pain to help her through her own. She scrubbed her hands over her face as she came to accept the fact that she would never deserve someone like him.

On the other side of the door, Felix was struggling to hold it together. He made it as far as the couch before breaking down, and he sank into the cushions as he finally allowed himself to cry. Everything hit him at once: the pain he knew she was going through, the sting of her rejection. Over the course of their relationship, he had made it his priority to support her, to be her source of comfort, and he didn’t know what to do with himself now that she had turned him away. He had always considered it his job to help people, and that job had become more important to him than ever when he met Tamora. Being pushed away felt like having a part of his identity ripped off of him, leaving him bleeding and raw. 

And so they sat, each wallowing in their own misery on opposite sides of the door. They had no clue how much they needed each other, how desperate they both were for someone to gain the courage to break down the wall that stood between them. But it appeared that, tonight, they were doomed to the same fate: nursing an aching chest and wondering if they would ever be worthy of the love they so hopelessly craved.


	6. Chapter 6

Felix stepped away from the stove and sat down at the kitchen table with a mug of tea in hand. He hadn’t even tried to get back to sleep after Tamora’s nightmare; his emotions were all over the place, and he knew it was pointless to go back to bed until his mind and heart had settled back down. It was a struggle to remind himself that Tamora had reacted the same way the first time he had ever attempted to comfort her after a nightmare. The trust that had been built between them did not exist anymore, and he couldn’t blame her for that. Still, the rejection had hurt quite a bit. It seemed as though every time they took a step closer to one another, something happened to drive them apart again, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it.

“Got enough for another mug?”

He turned to see Tamora emerging from the bedroom and his heart skipped a beat.

“Of course,” he answered as she took a seat next to him. “I’d offer you mine, but you never could stand the amount of sugar I put in my tea.”

“It couldn’t possibly be _that_ bad,” she said, grabbing the cup out of his hand. 

She took a hearty gulp and began coughing the moment the mug had left her lips. Felix grabbed it from her and set it down on the table, placing a cautious hand on her back as her coughing fit drew to a close.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Fine,” she rasped. “What, are you made of sugar?”

“I tried to warn you,” he said, unable to hide his smile.

He got up from the table and got to work preparing Tamora her own mug of tea. Four years together had taught him a lot about her, and he knew her preferences just as well as he knew his own. He returned to his seat and delivered her tea, confident that it had been made to her preferred specifications.

“This is perfect,” she said after taking a sip. “Thank you.”

It made him happy that, despite everything that had happened between them, there were still some things that hadn’t changed. The separation he felt between them could be daunting, but times like this reminded him that this was still his wife, the woman whose every quirk was etched onto his heart.

It was silent for a short while as they enjoyed their tea, but eventually, Felix spoke up.

“I’m sorry about what happened earlier,” he said. “You didn’t want me to stay, and I shouldn’t have tried to fight you on it. I should’ve just listened to you.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” she replied. “Maybe you were right. Maybe I should’ve let you stay. We might both be asleep right now instead of sitting in the kitchen at four in the morning.”

“But that’s not what you wanted from me in the moment,” he said. “Sometimes it’s hard for me to remember that things aren’t the way they used to be between us. And I’ve never been able to sit by while I know you’re in pain. I want to respect your boundaries, but sometimes those old instincts kick in and I just… I forget.”

“I understand,” she said. “And I’m sorry for being so harsh. You only wanted to help.”

“It’s alright. You’ve always had a hard time talking things out right after a nightmare,” he said. “And this one seemed pretty strong.”

“Yeah,” she replied, taking a sip of her tea. “It was.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Her body tensed and he immediately sensed her discomfort.

“I don’t mean to pry. You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to,” he said. “This one just seemed different.”

“Different how?” she asked.

“Well, you…you were calling my name,” he said. “Sometimes you would do that after you woke up, but I’ve never heard you do it in your sleep before, because the nightmares weren’t about me.”

“You’re right. This one wasn’t from the usual stock,” she said. 

She opened her mouth to say more, but stopped herself. She wasn’t sure she was ready to talk to him about her dream because she was still trying to figure it out for herself. It had felt so real, and while she wanted to believe it had all been a product of her imagination, deep down she knew that the events of her dream must have been memories. As she looked at Felix now, she couldn’t deny that she felt a sort of closeness with him that she hadn’t experienced before. But did she love him? She still felt as though she barely knew him, but how else could she describe the emotion that her dream had stirred up within her?

“Hey, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it,” Felix said, breaking her out of her thoughts. He placed his hand over hers on the table. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

“Thank you,” she said.

Their eyes met and for a fraction of a second he thought he saw a tiny glimpse of the love he always used to find in her gaze. She blinked, and it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. 

With things resolved between them, the lack of sleep caught up with Felix, and a large yawn forced its way out of his mouth.

“Maybe we ought to try and get some sleep,” he suggested.

He moved to stand from the table, but was stopped as she gripped his hand and kept him in place.

“Hey, um… Look, you can say no if you want, but I was wondering…” she trailed off as she struggled to find the right words.

“What is it?” he asked, a gentle probe that he hoped would ease some of her discomfort.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” she blurted, forcing the words out of her mouth. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Of course,” he answered, trying not to let his excitement show.

They settled into bed together and he couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy. She placed her head on his shoulder and he wrapped a tentative arm around her, allowing himself to relax when she didn’t protest the intimacy. He was in his bed with his wife for the first time in weeks, and his heart felt so full it could burst.

“Your heart’s beating pretty fast,” Tamora said. “Are you alright?”

“Sorry. I’m just a little excited,” he admitted. “I… I really missed this.”

“What, sleeping in your own bed?” she asked.

“Falling asleep next to you,” he answered. “I got so used to cuddling with you at night that I forgot what it was like to go to bed alone. I always felt so safe and warm with you wrapped around me. I’ve missed that.”

Tamora was too taken aback by his unabashed honesty to form a response. Instead, she scooted closer and moved her head from his shoulder to his chest, silently wrapping her arm around his middle. She felt him tense at first, and then felt him let out a deep breath as he relaxed once more. He brought his other arm up around her shoulders and held her close, smiling to himself. Maybe things would never be exactly the same between them, but this was close enough.

“G’night, Tamora,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

As Tamora gave herself over to sleep, she pondered how easy it was for her to accept his affection. Just yesterday, she couldn’t have envisioned herself getting in bed with him like this, but something had happened tonight—something that seemed to unlock a piece of her heart that she had forgotten was there. It was ironic to her that he had been the one to admit to feeling safe during times like this when she was certain she had never felt so protected in all her life.

“Goodnight, Felix.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some day, when I’m awfully low
> 
> When the world is cold
> 
> I will feel a glow just thinking of you
> 
> And the way you look tonight

“What are you looking at?”

Tamora looked up from the mess of papers around her to find that Felix had arrived home from work. Scattered on the floor were pictures, invitations, and other keepsakes from their wedding. It was the one thing he had avoided talking to her about, but she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that the answers she sought would be found somewhere in the memories of that day.

“I found some stuff from our wedding,” she answered. “I thought maybe it would help me remember.”

“Oh,” he replied softly.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked.

Felix nodded.

“Why haven’t you talked to me about that day?” she asked.

He felt his heart constrict as he glanced down away from her. It was unfair of him to continue avoiding the topic of their wedding, he knew, but looking back on that day only filled him with sadness now.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t want to keep it from you, it’s just…”

He paused, taking a deep breath in an attempt to keep his emotions under control. He sat down beside her.

“It’s a little hard for me to look back on our wedding,” he finally answered. “It was the best day of my life, but when I think about it now, it just…it hurts. It reminds me how things used to be. And that’s not how things are anymore.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, I shouldn’t be holding that back from you,” he replied. “You deserve to know what that day was like.”

He reached down and picked up a photo, a candid taken during their reception.

“I’ll never forget the way I felt when I saw you walking down the aisle. You were the most beautiful thing in the world,” he smiled to himself. “Of course you’re always beautiful, but on that day it seemed like all the happiness inside you was shining through. That smile made me feel like nothing could ever go wrong between us.”

“What’s this?” she asked, holding up a CD from the pile.

“Music from our reception,” he answered. “You thought it was cheesy, but I insisted on making a mix CD. I wanted to be able to listen to those songs and relive that day when the mood struck.”

“And did it?”

“All the time,” he smiled. “You used to come home and find me playing that CD while I cooked dinner. And then when the right song came on, I’d sweep you up in my arms and dance through the kitchen with you.”

“Can we listen to it now?”

Felix took the CD from her and took a moment to examine it. The track list written in sharpie had faded with time, but the name he had given the mix was still clearly legible. _Felix and Tamora—Fixin’ for Love_. Back then, she had teased him relentlessly about his choice of title, but he was as committed to this kind of cheesy gesture as he was to her. He got up from the couch and crossed the room, bracing himself for the onslaught of emotions before placing the disc in the CD player.

The first few songs were upbeat enough to distract him from his heartbreak, and he turned his attention back to the paraphernalia in front of them. Little by little, he walked her through their wedding day, explaining every keepsake and photo they had kept. He picked a crumpled piece of paper from the pile and unfolded it to show her.

“My wedding vows,” he said. “During the ceremony, I was so nervous that I kept a copy in my pocket. I was worried I’d take one look at you and forget everything.”

“Really?” she asked with an amused smile.

“You always did have that affect on me. I’d look into your eyes and forget all about the rest of the world,” he replied. “My hands were shaking as I held that paper up in front of me, and you reached out and took my hand. I looked up at you smiling at me and everything else disappeared. It was easy after that, because I realized I was just telling you how I felt. How much I loved you, and how excited I was to be your husband.”

“What were my vows like?” she asked.

“They were perfect,” he answered. “I knew you might have a harder time writing your own, but then you stood up in front of all our friends and family and told me how happy you were with me and how much you looked forward to the life we were going to have together. I’d never been more in love with you than I was in that moment.”

The song changed and Tamora could sense a shift in his mood.

“What is it?” she asked.

“This is the song,” he said. “Our first dance as husband and wife.”

“Will you show me what it was like?” she asked.

Felix hesitated for a moment before nodding and standing up. She stood up next to him and he walked them to the open patch of carpet beside the couch. He reached up to tuck her bangs behind her ear before taking her hand in his. His other hand landed on her back, and he pulled her close as he looked up into her eyes and began to slowly sway them to the beat.

“We took a few lessons together because you wanted to be prepared if you were going to have so many people watching you,” he said with a small smile. “But when the time came, we didn’t care about good form or fancy footwork. I just wanted to hold you close and get lost in you.”

Tamora leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. He closed his eyes and they were no longer in their living room—they were back in the reception hall, celebrating their love with all the people they cared about most. As he immersed himself in the memory, he could feel himself forgetting about everything that had been troubling him. There were no worries now, only love.

“There is nothing for me but to love you,” he sang along quietly, “and the way you look tonight.”

He didn’t resist at all when Tamora’s lips found his. With just a simple connection, everything in his world was set right again. The ache in his chest was gone, his heart leapt back into place. It didn’t feel like a first kiss, but an act of love between two people meant to be together, the kind of kiss he had grown accustomed to over the years. He deepened the kiss, releasing her hand to caress her cheek and pull her closer. He hadn’t realized just how much he had missed this, how desperately he needed it. If he could, he would spend the rest of his life here in this cocoon of love. She broke the kiss but didn’t pull away from him, giving him a few more moments to live out his fantasy.

“I love you, Tammy,” he murmured without thinking. His heart felt so full he had forgotten their circumstances.

“Tammy?” she asked. To her recollection, he had never called her that before, and it caught her off guard.

Her question ripped him straight out of the warm embrace of his fantasy, throwing everything off-balance once more. His body went rigid in her arms.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, his mind racing as he realized what he had just done. “I thought I felt… I thought you did, too—”

He pulled out of her grip and hurried for the door.

“Felix, wait!”

He turned and met her gaze for a moment before shaking his head and reaching for the doorknob.

“I can’t,” he whispered, tears in his eyes. “It’s too much, I—I… I have to go.”

With that, he was gone, leaving Tamora alone to process everything that had just happened. He left so quickly that she hadn’t been able to tell him how she felt, the familiar emotion his kiss had drudged up from the back of her mind. When he told her he loved her, it didn’t scare her like she thought it would. It felt good to hear it from him, and as she thought about what she had felt in that moment—what she had almost said in response—she realized she had finally found the answer she had been looking for.

That she loved him, too.


	8. Chapter 8

“Whoa, hold on. Go back,” Ralph said. “What happened, exactly?”

“I ruined everything, Ralph,” Felix said, tears running in a steady stream down his cheeks.

“How?”

After his hasty exit from his home, Felix had turned up at Ralph’s door in tears. Ralph had ushered him into the kitchen and was now attempting to calm him down.

“She asked me about our wedding. I got so caught up in it that I let myself forget about everything,” he explained. “S-she kissed me and I—I told her that I love her.”

“How is any of that a bad thing?” Ralph asked.

“When she kissed me, it felt the same as it always has. Like nothing had changed between us. For a second, I honestly believed she might tell me that she loved me, too,” Felix said. “But everything’s changed. She doesn’t love me. I’m just reading too much into things and getting my hopes up when I know it’s foolish.”

“You don’t think it’s possible that she does feel the same way?” Ralph asked.

“How could she?” Felix replied. “We were together for months before she told me she loved me the first time. There’s no way she could feel that way now.”

“So that’s what’s got you upset,” Ralph said. “You’re worried it’s gonna scare her away?”

“It’s more than just that. Kissing her reminded me what things used to be like between us. What it used to feel like,” Felix said. “I…I miss what we had. I miss kissing her so many times throughout the day that I’d lose count and telling her I love her every time the thought popped into my head. I miss holding her close at night and knowing without a doubt that she loved me.”

His shoulders shook as a sob forced its way from his throat.

“I thought I could handle all this. I thought if I could hold it together long enough that things might go back to normal,” he said. “I’ve spent all this time worrying that if I showed her how I really felt it would be too much for her, but holding it all inside, it…it’s too much for _me_.”

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” Ralph said. “You need to just be honest with her. She’ll understand.”

“Not like she used to,” Felix sniffled.

“Maybe not,” Ralph said. “But even if she remembers everything tomorrow, things won’t be the same between you. You’ve been through something huge, it’s bound to change things.”

“I don’t want things to change,” Felix replied. “What we had before was perfect.”

“Well, it’s too late for that,” Ralph said. “You don’t really get a choice here, buddy. Besides, don’t you think your relationship might be even stronger once you come out on the other side of this thing?”

“Maybe,” he said. “I just wish I could show her how much I love her. That’s what I miss the most—loving her.”

“What’s stopping you?” Ralph asked. “She’s still here. She hasn’t given up on you.”

“But what if—“

“Felix, she’s your wife. I’m sure she already knows that you love her, whether you’ve shown her or not,” Ralph said. “You can be sad that your relationship has changed, but that’s not going to stop it from happening. The best thing you can do is accept that change and make the most of it.”

“I guess you’re right,” Felix relented.

“Give yourself the rest of the night to be sad,” Ralph said. “And then tomorrow morning, get out of bed and go talk to her. Just be honest. If she really cares about you, she’ll understand.”

“I’ll try,” Felix said, wiping the tears from his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Thanks, Ralph.”

Back in their apartment, Tamora was sitting on her bed working through everything that had happened tonight. She felt terrible for pushing Felix past his limits—she knew how much he was struggling to keep his emotions in check, no matter how much he tried to hide it, and she had taken things too far. He had made it so easy to get lost in the moment that she had forgotten about everything else that was happening between them. But she wouldn’t let that happen again. As soon as he came back, she would apologize to him and hope it was enough. Now that she had come to terms with her feelings for him, she would never forgive herself if she pushed him away for good.

She looked down at the pair of golden bands that was perched on her bedside table. After the accident, her hand had been too swollen to wear them, and Felix had left them there for her to put back on when she felt ready. Although he tried his hardest not to be too obvious about it, she had seen the way he snuck quick glances at her hands every morning, no doubt hoping he would see those rings adorning her finger. She was fully aware of what it would mean to Felix if she put them back on, she knew the weight they carried, and that was exactly why they were still on the nightstand after all this time. She had told him she was committed to him, and she meant it, but she didn’t want to get his hopes up before she was sure of her feelings.

The diamond of her engagement ring sparkled in the low light of the lamp on the bedside table, and she picked the rings up to examine them more closely. She hadn’t dared to touch them yet, feeling almost as though they belonged to someone else. But things were different now, and suddenly it was easy to hold them in her hand, to think of them as _hers_. With her free hand, she reached for the scrap of paper on which Felix had written his wedding vows. She had read them several times now, hoping that something in his words would connect the dots in her brain.

_Today, in front of all our loved ones, I choose you to be my wife. But the truth is, I made that choice a long time ago. Everything I’ve done since the day we met has led me to this choice, and the promise I make to you today is that I will keep choosing you every day for the rest of my life. I’ll choose you every night when I fall asleep in your arms, and again every morning when I wake up beside you. I will choose you each time we kiss, and every time I tell you how much I love you. No matter what life throws at us, I choose you to stand next to me, to be my partner through good times and bad. For every smile and every tear, I choose you to be the person I experience it with. And through it all, my biggest hope is that you’re as happy choosing me as I am choosing you._

The words reverberated in her mind, bringing a familiar warm feeling with them. Although she had finally identified the emotion, she still couldn’t determine its source. If she felt this way about him based on just a few fuzzy memories of their old life together, then she could only imagine how powerful their bond must have been, how intensely they must have loved one another. This was merely an echo of the full potential of their relationship, and she longed to know what it felt like to be loved by him.

A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. It hit her all at once that he was _still_ choosing her every day, and she hadn’t shown him how much it meant to her. With a newfound resolve, she slipped her rings into her pocket for safekeeping. He had been choosing her for years, and now it was time for her to return the favor.


	9. Chapter 9

_“Felix, can I come in?”_

_He had just finished fastening his tie in the mirror, and Tamora’s voice on the other side of the door was surprising to him. Their wedding ceremony would be starting soon, and he hadn’t expected to see her until the time came for her to walk down the aisle._

_“You know I’m not supposed to see you yet,” he teased._

_“Then don’t look,” she said, and this time he could hear the emotion in her voice. “I need to talk to you. Please.”_

_He turned the mirror around and pushed it up against the wall before turning away from the door._

_“Come in,” he said._

_He heard the door open and shut, followed by the gentle swish of her dress as she entered the room._

_“Is everything alright?” he asked._

_He was caught off guard when she wrapped her arms around him from behind in lieu of an answer. She leaned into him and sighed._

_“It’s crazy out there. Everyone’s losing their minds over the last-minute details and I just…” she trailed off, squeezing him a bit tighter. “I needed a reminder of what this is all about.”_

_“I take it Gene came to you about the lack of olives at the bar, too?” _

_Tamora nodded and he gave a soft chuckle._

_“Is everything else okay?” he asked, placing his hands over hers. “I know how overwhelming this is.”_

_Felix paused, taking a moment to intertwine their fingers before finishing his thought._

_“I want you to know that it’s okay if you feel like you can’t go through with this,” he said. “At the end of the day, I just want you to be happy.”_

_“I will be, thanks to you,” she replied. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but I’m afraid you’re stuck with me forever.”_

_“Considering how long I’ve been stuck on you, I’d say that’s fair,” he said with a smile. “Let’s forget about everything else. Today is about you and me. As far as I’m concerned, that’s all that matters.”_

“Felix?”

He looked up from his place on the bed and found Tamora standing in the doorway. He sniffled and made a hasty attempt to wipe away his tears.

“Tamora,” he said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“Are you okay?”

Felix nodded, his lips forming a thin line on his face as he tried to remain composed. She entered the room and sat down beside him.

“I was hoping we could talk,” she said. “I want to apologize for what happened earlier.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” he replied. “I… I haven’t been open about my feelings with you. Talking about our wedding was pretty emotional for me, and when you kissed me, I just got overwhelmed. I shouldn’t have left the way I did.”

“It’s okay. You needed space,” she said. “Believe me, I understand.”

“I don’t want to hold those things back anymore. I want to be honest with you,” he said. “It never used to scare me to tell you how I felt, but things are so different now…”

“I don’t want you to be scared,” she said. “Things have changed, but I still want you to feel comfortable talking to me. I may not remember it, but I’m sure that’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“I know this has to be hard for you. I mean, forgetting everything about the last few years of your life—I can’t even imagine what that must feel like,” he said. “But it’s taken its toll on me, too. And I’ve been trying to hide that from you.”

“Why?” she asked.

“I know how much you go through every day, and this is just making it even harder,” he said. “I didn’t want you to feel bad, or like any of it was your fault. You’re dealing with so much already, I didn’t want to add to it.”

“Felix, your feelings are not a burden,” she assured him. “Please, talk to me.”

He looked up at her, his eyes brimming with tears.

“I love you so much,” he said, his voice weak. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you when I know you don’t remember me, but it’s been so hard not saying that to you. I used to tell you so many times I thought you’d get tired of hearing it.”

He reached for her hand.

“Those first few days when you looked at me like I was a complete stranger to you…it nearly broke me,” he said. “You’re the love of my life and my best friend and all of a sudden all of that was just gone. And all the good times, the support, the love…that was gone, too.”

Tears began flowing freely down his cheeks.

“I miss the way we used to love each other,” he said. “I’m scared you’ll never love me again. I’m so scared of losing you.”

His shoulders shook with sobs and Tamora wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into her chest. He clung to her and she let him cry, holding him close and offering him the comfort he had been missing for so long. She felt terrible that he had been holding this inside all this time.

“It’s okay. You’re not going to lose me,” she said. She reached into her pocket and procured her rings. “I’ve been scared, too. Of putting these back on, of making that commitment. But I’m not scared anymore.”

“Your rings,” Felix said, his breath finally evening out. “I was hoping you might—that you would want—“

“I want to wear these again,” she said firmly.

He hesitated for a moment before reaching for her engagement ring. Their eyes met as he silently asked for her permission to proceed. She nodded, and he took a deep breath before sliding the ring onto her finger. Fresh tears sprang to his eyes at the sight, and he exhaled a shaky breath as he followed it with her wedding band. They looked down at her hand, sharing in the intimacy of the moment as she gazed upon the symbols of her love and commitment to Felix resting on her finger for the first time.

“It’s not a perfect match, but they look good together,” she said.

“You said the same thing the first time you tried them on. The engagement ring belonged to my mother, and the wedding bands were meant to be used in your first wedding,” he explained. “It was so meaningful to us that it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. You always said that anyone who really mattered to us would see that—“

“—That things don’t have to be a perfect match to belong together. Just like us.”

Felix froze, looking at Tamora with a hope in his eyes that he was too terrified to express, a question he was too afraid to ask. He was certain that they hadn’t talked about the rings before. The fact that she knew the sentiment she had always used to describe them could only mean one thing, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. If he turned out to be wrong, it would destroy him.

“Tamora?”

But she didn’t hear him. Her mind was far away as fleeting memories passed through her mind so quickly that she couldn’t even begin to process them. The sight of Felix placing those rings on her finger had unlocked the hidden corner of her memory that she had been unable to reach for so long. She was overwhelmed by a sudden surge of thoughts and feelings she had long forgotten.

_Lazy mornings together in bed. The callused but warm embrace of his hand closing around hers. Their first kiss, and each one that followed. Being swept up by him as he danced them through the kitchen. Their wedding day, when Felix had placed that ring on her finger just as he had done today. _

Her mind settled and suddenly it dawned on her: this was Felix. _Her_ Felix. Her husband.

“Felix.”

Something in the tone of her voice was different to him; there was an underlying affection there that he hadn’t heard in weeks. He looked into her eyes and saw the spark of recognition shining back at him.

“…Tammy?”

“Oh, Felix.”

Her eyes were brimming with tears, and she reached out and placed a hand alongside his face. He leaned into her touch, unable to stop the heavy stream of tears that ran down his cheeks. He knew what had just happened, he could _feel_ it in the way she was looking at him, but he didn’t dare say it. 

“Tammy, please,” he choked out, placing his hand over hers on his face. “Tell me what’s going on, I can’t—I can’t say it and be wrong, I can’t take it.”

“You were right in front of me this whole time and I didn’t recognize you,” she said as her tears began to fall freely. “But I remember now.”

Words failed him as he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her close, burying his face in her shoulder as his body trembled with sobs. She returned the embrace and they curled into one another, fighting to get as close as possible. His hands gripped the back of her shirt and he could feel her shallow breaths as she cried with him. He couldn’t keep still, afraid to loosen his grip on her but also terrified that the next time he looked into her eyes, the spark he had seen there would be gone.

Felix pulled back to look at her, searching her eyes for a sign that he had been imagining the whole thing, that she didn’t remember who he was. What he found looking back at him was all the love he had sought in her gaze flooding back in. He tucked her hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek, now wet with tears. The loving look in her eyes set his heart aflame, and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He pulled her close and kissed her, pouring every bit of the love he had held back for so long into the affection. 

The moment their lips met, he knew that everything was right again. The searing intensity of their connection was something he hadn’t felt in weeks, but he would recognize that feeling anywhere. She gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him close to her, and the familiar act overwhelmed him with joy. He could taste the salt of their tears as he deepened the kiss, pressing himself against her so hard it almost hurt, but neither of them noticed or cared. All they could focus on was each other, on the abundance of love that flowed between them.

They couldn’t bear the thought of breaking the kiss, but they had no choice as their lungs finally ran out of air. Their foreheads rested against one another as they caught their breath, and their tears finally began to dry. Felix opened his eyes and was met with her stunning pair looking back at him, more beautiful than anything he had ever seen.

“I love you,” she said.

The words brought tears to his eyes anew; he had waited a long time to hear them.

“I love you,” he replied. “You’re my whole world, Tammy Jean.”

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

“I missed this so much,” he said. “I thought I might never get to feel this way again.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I can’t believe how much you put yourself through for me.”

“Of course I did. I know how good it feels to be loved by you, and I’d spend the rest of my life fighting for it,” he said. “And you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m just so happy it all came back.”

“I sure put you through hell and high water to get here,” she said.

“And I’d do it again a hundred times if that’s what I had to do to be with you,” he said. “All that pain is gone now. None of it matters anymore. I have you, and that’s all I need.”

He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face into the curve of her neck. A few tears slipped down his cheeks as he breathed deep, filling his lungs with her familiar scent. She brought her arms up around his shoulders and there they stayed, basking in the comfort of the love they had finally regained.

Eventually, they migrated to their bed, where they cuddled close under the covers. Felix ran his fingers through her soft hair and sighed, finally content.

“Tell me something else,” he said softly. “What was your favorite part about our wedding day?”

He had spent the better part of the last half hour asking her questions about their past. After everything he had been through, she understood his need for reassurance and would indulge him for as long as he needed.

“Before the ceremony, when I came to see you while you were getting ready,” she said. “That was one of the only moments we had all day that was just the two of us.”

“I guess you’re right,” he mused. “I always forget there was anybody else there besides you.”

Normally a statement like this would be accompanied by a cheesy grin, but tonight the words carried too much weight to be lighthearted. While it filled him with happiness and relief to have his wife back, he couldn’t ignore the sadness he felt at the fact that there had been a time during their marriage when she did not love him, and the underlying fear that it would happen again. Tamora sensed his inner conflict and placed a hand on his cheek.

“Can I tell you something?” she asked. 

“Of course,” he answered, turning his head to press a kiss to the center of her palm.

“I loved you before I remembered everything,” she said. “It took me a while to come to terms with it, and I was scared to tell you, but that’s why I came to talk to you tonight. To tell you that I love you.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Mmhmm,” she nodded. “I just… I don’t want you to think that the only reason I love you now is because my memories came back. I loved you before the accident, I loved you after I had forgotten everything, and I love you now. I always will.”

His eyes welled up with tears, and he leaned in close for a gentle kiss.

“I love you, Tamora Jean,” he murmured. “I told you I wanted to spend forever with you, and I meant it. I’m never giving up on us, not until we’ve had our forever.”

“I know,” she said. “I think that no matter what happens, we’ll always end up finding our way back to each other.”

“I think you’re right.”

At this, he burrowed his head beneath her chin, nestling into his favorite spot against her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and stroked his hair, and it was almost as though nothing had ever changed between them. There was no denying that things were different now, though; they loved each other more deeply and appreciated the love they shared more than they had ever thought possible. Here in bed, snuggled up with his wife in the same way he had fallen asleep for the last several years—an embrace which somehow felt both familiar and brand new—his heart was finally at peace. He could rest knowing that everything in his world was in its proper place. He loved her, and she loved him, and that would always remain true.

They were no longer strangers.


	10. Chapter 10

The sky glowed a brilliant orange as the sun began to set over the ocean. The music started and Felix took his first step toward the altar. He looked up and locked eyes with Tamora, who was approaching the altar from the other side. She wore a simple white dress without frills, more casual than her wedding gown. Even so, the sight of her nearly stopped him in his tracks. It would never cease to amaze him that this incredible woman was in his life, especially after everything they had endured.

The vow renewal had been Tamora’s idea. As their third wedding anniversary grew near, the couple had found themselves looking for a more meaningful way to celebrate. A nice dinner at a fancy restaurant wouldn’t do this year—this anniversary was more than just an annual milestone. The universe had tested their love for one another, and they had come out on the other side stronger than ever. She knew that Felix was still struggling with the aftermath of the accident, and thought there was no better way to commemorate their wedding than to reaffirm their love.

The destination had been Felix’s idea. They hadn’t been in the financial position to take a real honeymoon when they were married, and it had always bothered him that he hadn’t been able to give Tamora the trip she deserved. He had spent the last couple of years saving money in secret, hoping to surprise her when the time was right. This had led to their decision to have their ceremony in Hawaii; she had been stationed there briefly during her time in the marines and spoke often about visiting again someday.

And so, here they were, walking toward each other on the beach with no one around but an officiant and a couple of witnesses. They could have done this at home, allowing their friends and family to be part of the special occasion, but they had ultimately decided against it. This ceremony wasn’t something that needed to be shared; it wasn’t about anyone else, and the only people who needed to be present were standing at the altar.

As soon as she was close enough to do so, Felix reached out and took her hands in his. He beamed up at her and she smiled back, both of them totally oblivious to the words being spoken by the officiant. It was the same feeling he had gotten on his wedding day—everyone and everything else in the world disappeared as he gazed upon his wife. It was nothing short of a miracle that they were here today and his heart had never felt more full. Before they knew it, the time came for them to recite their vows, and Tamora took a small step closer to him before speaking.

“Three years ago, you promised that you would spend the rest of your life choosing me, and you have more than kept that promise. You chose me when I wasn’t ready to let love in, when all I wanted was to be alone. You fought your way in and chose me when I didn’t know how to accept being chosen. You chose me when I forgot everything about our life together and I had no memory of you. You chose not to give up on us,” she said. 

Felix couldn’t hold back his tears as she spoke, and a broad smile stretched his cheeks to their limit. 

“I love you, Felix. I always have and I always will. The promise I want to make to you now is that I will do everything in my power to make sure you never have to doubt that again,” she said. “Life dealt us a blow that was beyond our control, but we managed to hold onto each other. Today, I promise that I will never let go.”

A shuddering breath forced its way from his throat. Her words had overwhelmed him with joy and love and he was unable to stop his emotions from spilling out of him. He took a moment to wipe the tears from his eyes before taking her hands again.

“It seems a little unfair that you looked so perfect reading your vows and I look like such a mess when it’s my turn,” he said, and they shared a quiet laugh. “I’m not sure I could ever top that.”

He took a deep, calming breath and straightened his posture.

“I love you, and I am so lucky that I’ve gotten to love you so many times in so many different ways. I told you once that I never really believed in soulmates, but now I’m not so sure,” he said. “We were meant to be together, and that’s why we’re standing here today. There’s no way I could’ve ever given up on us, because I’ve always known that being with you is the only way my life can ever be right.”

He laced their fingers together.

“The universe can try to pull us apart, but our love will always win. No matter what happens, I will _always_ find my way back to you,” he said, giving her hands a squeeze. “I was never much of a fighter before I met you, but you gave me something that was worth fighting for. I promise that I will never stop fighting for you. For us. Never.”

While Tamora was more reserved than Felix, she still shed a tear as he recited his vows, and gave a small sniffle as the officiant announced that it was time to exchange rings. Many couples used a vow renewal as an excuse to get new rings, but these bands were far too meaningful to be replaced. Instead, they had decided to have them engraved. To the outside world, the rings would look exactly the same, but there was now a secret message engraved on the inside: _I choose you_.

The tears continued to flow as they exchanged rings. This was the third time Felix had placed this ring on Tamora’s finger, and the significance of the act was not lost on either of them. They had faced a seemingly insurmountable obstacle and somehow made it out on the other side, proving that their love was too strong to be eroded by the harsh elements that tried to tear them apart. This was a love that was built to withstand.

The moment was so intimate that they had forgotten there was anyone else present, and they both flinched when the officiant spoke up again.

“Felix and Tamora, by your continued love and commitment, and with the reaffirmation you make today, it is my honor to pronounce you husband and wife once again.”

As Felix gazed up into Tamora’s eyes, he knew with a distinct clarity that everything in his life was right. This belief was confirmed when they leaned in toward each other and shared a kiss that made his heart soar. They had fought for this, the overwhelming feeling of love and happiness that was so powerful it seemed to emanate from them. It was hard-won, and they vowed never to take it for granted. It was at once a fresh start and a reestablishment of the love they had shared for years—a relationship that was both old and brand new. Felix smiled into the kiss, feeling better than he had in a long time. 

That night, they sat on the patio of their suite, enjoying their view of the ocean. Tamora had gotten out of her chair and climbed into Felix’s, and he smiled as he snuggled up closer to her. These chairs really weren’t big enough for two people, but he didn’t mind; he’d never turn down an opportunity to cuddle with his wife.

“I can’t believe you spent the last three years saving for this vacation,” Tamora said. “How did I never notice that?”

“Remember those bonus checks that got lost in the mail?” he asked.

“You little sneak,” she replied in mock outrage. Felix chuckled and kissed her cheek.

“I felt awful keeping it from you, even though it was supposed to be a surprise,” he said. “I was sure you’d end up catching me. You know I’ve never been good at keeping secrets.”

“You’ve got that right,” she teased. “I hope there’s no guilt on your conscience. I’m glad you did it.”

“Me, too,” he replied. “This has been more perfect than I ever imagined. At first I felt bad that we didn’t invite any of our friends, but the ceremony was everything I hoped it would be.”

“When I brought it up, I imagined we’d do it at home and have a few friends there,” she said. “But this is so much better. Nobody else really understands what we’ve been through, why we wanted to do this in the first place.”

“It’s just like I said at our wedding, today is about you and me. Nothing else matters,” he said. “All I wanted to think about today is how much I love you and how incredible it is that you’re my wife.”

Tamora leaned down and reeled him into a slow and steamy kiss. His cheeks were glowing red by the time she released him, and he gazed up at her with a dreamy smile.

“I must admit, I also spent some time today thinking about how much I love those kisses,” he said.

“Well, there’s more where that came from,” she teased.

Their lips met again, and they allowed the languid affection to linger this time. Felix buried his fingers in her soft hair and savored this feeling—he was in paradise with the love of his life, sitting on a patio with a view of the ocean. They had reaffirmed their commitment to one another and their love was stronger than ever. No better feeling existed in the world, he was sure of it.

“You wouldn’t want to head back inside, would you?” he murmured against her lips. “I don’t think the rest of the resort wants to hear what I’ve got in mind for us tonight.”

“I, for one, think they could stand to listen. Maybe they’d learn a thing or two,” she joked. “But since I don’t want us to get kicked out, I guess we can go inside.”

They disappeared into their suite, shutting out the rest of the world as they fell into the throes of passion. Months ago, Felix had been so worried about how his relationship with Tamora would change that it had nearly torn him apart. Now, the thought almost made him laugh. He never could have predicted how much more deeply they would love one another, how much more open they were with their feelings. Things had changed, that much was certain. 

They had changed for the better.


	11. Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Tamora take some time to reconnect.
> 
> (This chapter is NSFW!)

Tamora rolled over to find Felix sitting up on the edge of the bed clad only in his boxers. She got up and crawled up behind him, wrapping her arms around his middle. He turned his head and bumped noses with her as she rested her chin in the dip of his shoulder.

“Hey,” he said, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead against hers.

“You’re up early,” she replied softly. “Are you alright?”

He nodded.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said. 

“Is that all?” she asked. She felt him tense up. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“Now why would you go and do a thing like that?” he said with a small smile in an attempt to keep the conversation light.

“It’s my job. I can tell there’s something weighing on your mind,” she said. “You know it’s okay to have some conflicted feelings. A lot has happened.”

“I know,” he replied.

He hummed as Tamora pressed a few kisses to the top of his shoulder and splayed her hands out on his chest, pulling him closer to her.

“As long as I have you, I’ll be okay,” he continued.

She didn’t press the issue, choosing instead to bestow more kisses along the back of his neck. He had taken some time off of work to spend with her and today was their last day together before they would have to return to their old routine. Although he wouldn’t admit to it, she could tell that he was worried—he had hardly taken his eyes off of her since her memories came back, and deep down he was afraid to be apart from her. The accident had happened while he was at work, and he had never stopped blaming himself for not being there to stop it. It would take a long time for that wound to heal, but in the meantime she did her best to put his mind at ease.

“I don’t want to go back to work,” he said. “I wish we could just stay like this forever.”

“I know,” she replied. “As much as I would like that, too, we have to get back to reality some time.”

“Reality is where I almost lost you,” he said. “I’d much rather stay here.”

“Reality is also where we met. Where we fell in love. Where we got married,” she pointed out. “You didn’t lose me. You’re not going to lose me.”

“Promise?” he asked.

Their eyes met and she saw the deep longing for reassurance in his gaze. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his, allowing the affection to linger before pulling away just enough to look into his eyes again.

“I promise.”

He placed a hand alongside her face, brushing his fingers into her hair, before kissing her again. He had spent more than his fair share of time kissing her lately, but he had yet to kiss her this way—with a passion that burned from the very core of his being, slowly making itself known as the smoldering embers caught flame. But she couldn’t help but notice a difference in his demeanor. There was a certain hesitance to his touch now, an apprehension she hadn’t felt from him since they first started dating. Hoping to banish the fear she could sense in him, she scooted next to him and deepened the kiss. Things quickly began to pick up speed as he shifted their positions so that he was on top of her as she laid back on the mattress.

They had had so much catching up to do since her memories returned that they had yet to be intimate with one another. Felix had been so focused on reconnecting with her emotionally that the physical aspect of their relationship was the furthest thing from his mind. Now, he felt desperate for her touch after being without it for so long. She buried her fingers in his hair as they kissed and he was overwhelmed by a wave of emotion. Everything felt so comforting and familiar, yet at the same time it felt as though this was the first time she had ever touched him that way. He broke the kiss, keeping his face close to hers as he opened his eyes and looked down at her. She met his gaze and her face took on an expression of concern.

“Whats the matter?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he answered. “I just didn’t realize how much I missed this.”

He kissed her again, placing his hand in the curve of her waist. Suddenly he felt a frantic need to remove the layers of clothing that separated them, and made a quick effort of pulling her shirt up over her head. She caught on to his desire and pulled off her underwear as he shoved his boxers down his legs and onto the floor. He pressed his body close to hers and relished the feeling of her skin against his. His lips trailed down her neck and his hands couldn’t keep still, moving in a frenzied attempt to reach all the things he had been without for so long. Before long he was trembling, and Tamora gently pulled his face away from her chest to look into his eyes.

“Felix, talk to me,” she gently urged him. “What’s wrong?”

“I just want this to be perfect, I—” he paused, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Look at me,” she said.

He released a shuddering breath and she propped herself up on her elbow, using her free hand to caress his cheek.

“It’s been so long since we’ve been together like this,” he said. “For a while there I wasn’t sure we ever would be again. I can’t stop remembering how that felt. I don’t want to put a damper on things, I want you to be satisfied, I just—”

“It’s okay. I understand,” she cut in when she saw him getting worked up. “You don’t have to do anything to make this better or more special. It’s already special because we’re together, and that’s a big deal.”

He nodded as he worked to steady his breathing. Tamora sat up, gently nudging him into a seated position, before leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“If this feels like too much for you right now, we can wait,” she said.

“No. Tammy, I want you so much. I don’t think I’ve ever felt it like this before,” he replied. “But I understand if you don’t want to. I know this must be turning you off.”

“Felix, I want this,” she said. “This is emotional for both of us. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide that from me.”

He nodded, taking one last deep breath.

“Why don’t you lie back and let me take care of you?” she asked.

“But what about you?” he replied.

“You've always taken care of me,” she said. “Let me return the favor.”

He settled on his back and she climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. Her lips started on his cheek and slowly worked their way down, leaving gentle kisses along his neck and chest. She adjusted her position to allow her kisses to move further south, trailing down his stomach. He gasped as he felt her fingers wrap around his erection and slowly begin pumping. Goosebumps ran across his flesh as her tongue ran down the back of his shaft, and a quiet moan slipped past his lips as she took him into her mouth. 

It had been so long since she had touched him like this that he had nearly forgotten how good it felt, but he couldn’t let go of the feeling that something was still missing. There was a dull pain in his heart, a void that needed to be filled. He reached down and took her free hand, lacing their fingers together. What he really wanted was to feel their deep, emotional bond, and while her lips felt incredible wrapped around him, this was doing nothing to ease the ache in his chest.

“Tammy,” he managed to get out between breaths. “Tammy, stop.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked as she scooted up toward him on the bed.

“Nothing. Everything you were just doing felt amazing, it’s just that I...” he trailed off, unsure how to put his feelings into words. “The way I need you right now isn’t coming from my body. It’s coming from here.”

He placed his hand over his heart and Tamora nodded in understanding. She brushed her fingers through his bangs and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“I just need to feel close to you right now,” he said.

She crawled back on top of him and he reached up to tuck her bangs behind her ear, giving himself an uninterrupted view of her eyes. As he saw her love for him shining through in her gaze, his heart finally felt a moment of relief. This was what he needed—a chance to savor their bond. He kissed her and her hands returned to his erection, but this time he was able to relax and enjoy the sensation. His moans were muffled into her mouth as his hands wandered her skin. They were in no rush to move things along as they took the time to get familiar with one another again. 

It was overwhelming and emotional to hold her in his arms like this, to run his fingers over her soft flesh. Not too long ago, he thought he had lost her forever, and now she was here in their bed, making love to him. The realization ignited something deep inside him, and he felt a sudden desperation for her.

“I need you,” he sighed against her lips.

Tamora kissed him again before obliging to his request, guiding his erection to her entrance. While their passion had a tendency to get the best of them during moments like this, tonight they did not fall victim to such a frenzy. They struck up a steady rhythm, keeping things slow to allow them to nurture their strong connection.

“Oh, Tammy,” he murmured. “I missed you so much.”

She looked down and saw his eyes brimming with tears. This had been harder on him than he ever let on, and he had been trying to keep it from her. There was no more hiding—he was open and vulnerable now as the tears began slipping down his cheeks. 

“I know you weren’t really gone. You were here with me the whole time, but I...I really missed you like this,” he said. “I missed my wife.”

Tamora opened her mouth, but found no words that would serve as a proper response. What he had gone through was a different kind of hurt, one she had never experienced, and she would always feel guilty for causing it. She placed her hand on his cheek and brushed her thumb across his lips. He relished her tender embrace and kissed the pad of her finger before looking up to meet her eyes.

“I love you, Felix.”

At this, his tears began to fall more rapidly.

“I love you, too,” he breathed on a shuddering exhale. “Tammy, I love you so much.”

She kissed him again and rolled her hips against his, picking back up where they had left off. He moaned against her lips and began to relax at last. The release of sadness and fear gave him the opportunity to finally allow himself to enjoy this. What he had needed all along was reassurance that it was real—that his wife had returned to him for good. He had been burdened by doubt, but her weight on top of him was solid and soothing. He took her hand and placed it on his chest above his heart, and she could feel it pounding. She was here with him, tangible and raw and _real_, and his heart was no longer weighed down. It had been set free, beating wildly in his chest.

A steady stream of tears flowed down his cheeks, but they were borne of relief, not sadness and fear. Tamora let her lips wander away from his mouth, instead choosing to kiss his tears as they fell. Felix wrapped his arms around her and held her close, wanting nothing more than to overwhelm his senses with her. He wanted every part of him to be focused on her entirely, for her to be the only thing he could see, hear, touch, and taste. He had been repressing these feelings, but deep down he needed her—all of her—in order to feel whole again. 

Once his tears had run dry, Tamora looked into his eyes and could see that a weight had been lifted off of him. This was the man she knew and loved, looking up at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. He smiled and she couldn’t help but return it.

“C’mere,” he whispered, and she leaned down, allowing him to capture her lips in a kiss.

Things began to pick up speed as Felix started to move with her, meeting each of her thrusts with one of his own. Now that he had worked through his doubts, all he wanted was to reach that pinnacle of pleasure, to experience that bliss with his wife. He was done moping about—he had everything he needed to be happy. Tamora was here, _really_ here, and she loved him, and he loved her, and that was enough. Whatever the future held, they would face it together. All that mattered was the here and now.

He felt himself nearing the edge and reached down between them, seeking out her clitoris with his fingers. There was no way he would allow himself to finish without her; he needed her to be right there with him, to ride out that tidal wave of pleasure together. Her body quickly responded to his touch and her small noise of surprise was barely audible against his lips, but it was not lost on him. It encouraged him to keep going, to let his body give in to its old instincts and touch her the way that only he knew how. 

Tamora’s body jerked against him and he knew that she had reached her peak. Everything—the sight of her writhing on top of him, the sound of her moans, the feel of her muscles clenching around him—was so perfectly arousing that he couldn’t even begin to try to stop himself from falling over the edge behind her. As he spilled inside her, he was certain that his pleasure had never been this potent, their attachment this powerful. It knocked the breath out of him, and as he heard Tamora breathing heavily in his ear, he knew she must have felt it, too. 

“Oh, Tammy,” he panted. “That was...”

“Yeah, it was,” she sighed. 

They shared a quiet chuckle before Felix’s lips were drawn to hers once more. The affection lingered, and he found that, although his hunger for her had been quieted, it had not yet been sated; it appeared as though they still had some catching up to do on that front. 

“Thank you for seeing through me and making me open up,” he said. “I was still holding so much in, I... I didn’t realize how much I needed that.”

“I’m glad I could help.” she replied. “I take it you’re feeling better?”

“Much better,” he said, and the slight teasing in his voice confirmed it. He leaned up for another kiss. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Tammy, Jean.”

“It’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out,” she said with a smile.

They fell into a comfortable silence as they lie together, still connected. Felix closed his eyes and sighed, feeling more content than he had in quite some time. Tamora was here, and he could touch her and kiss her and tell her he loved her, and as long as that remained true, nothing could ever really be that bad. They had each other, and that was enough.

It would always be enough.


End file.
